Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
that is very illegal...i love you.
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