all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
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