And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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