Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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