I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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