guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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