He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
