the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
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