how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I am one with the molecules
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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