dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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