sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
