i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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