This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
