you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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