plz talk dirty to me
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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