when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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