Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
