I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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