i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
