Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
no you cant smoke seaweed
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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