After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
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