Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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