Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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