She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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