sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
You took a bar mat shot.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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