Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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