I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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