at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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