dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
