So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
