so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
