You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
worst night to have a conscience
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
