I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
