You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
