my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
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You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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