ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
