Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
