also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
