My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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