I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
