Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
