you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Randomize
