The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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