Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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