everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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