So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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