singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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