i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
