cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
