i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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