I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
you made out with another girl for some wings
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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