Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
