It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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