I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize