Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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