Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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