I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
