Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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