i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
