My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
