Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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