Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
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