Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
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