look no pants
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
